Lilly Care 2: Over the Stars
by LadySilvermist
Summary: A sequel to Lilly Cares, Nny finds himself floating in a black void, apparently dead, an oddly familiar girl with him. She claims to know him, but he can't remember her at all. Following the 'rules' set forth by an unknown person or thing, the girl gives Nny little hints to remind him of who she is, and why he feels so sad whenever he sees a certain flower. Some hugs happen.


My eyes snapped open in the void. Oh, joy, "the void". A cliché, how fan-fucking-tastic. Confusion and darkness. Wow, death is pretty much life, only more…floaty. I wonder how long I'll be here. I see pinpricks of light far below me. Are those…stars? Fuck me, I'm in SPACE?! Well then I'm definitely dead. I was hit by a car; I remember the flash of blinding light and then a crippling pain as several of my bones were broken. Damn it all, I can't even gather my thoughts, my insane in the membrane mind is just as floaty as my body.

"Hi, Nny." A voice in the void! A strangely familiar one…oh, great, MORE clichés. I spin around (or more accurately, I paddle, as space seems to be like water), and find myself face to face with a girl. She looks to be around 19, with big, bright green eyes. She smiles at me sadly, as I regard her with cold interest. "You've forgotten me, haven't you?"

"I have no idea who you are," I state bluntly. "If I had forgotten you, seeing you would make me remember. I simply don't know you."

That same sad smile flits across her face. Who the hell is this girl? Why does she seem so familiar? "It's sad that you don't remember me, Nny. I wish I could tell you who I am, but the rules say you have to figure it out on your own. I can give you hints, but I can't tell you outright. Do you want to remember who I am?" Rules? What rules? Made by whom? For what purpose?

"I have a deep well of curiosity, so if indeed we met in the past I would like to try and remember when." I cross my arms and float opposite her. "And, seeing as we are both dead, a guessing game might be a fun way to pass the time."

She floated closer to me. "This could get very uncomfortable for you."

I arched my eyebrow. "More uncomfortable than floating in space with a stranger who claims to know me, whilst I have no idea who they are and, by the by, am dead?"

She smiled, a real smile, not a sad one, and for some reason my heart twitched. It irritated me. "Here are the first two hints. My favorite color is green. My favorite animal is the wolf."

"Nope, nothing, keep trying." I look at her grimly. Fat lot of help those hints were!

"You were kind enough to unshackle my wrists when I asked you too."

Ok, she was a victim of mine. Fuck, I probably don't want to remember her then. "Try again."

"I'm 19, and my favorite song is 'Uncle Johnny' by The Killers."

Something began to wiggle in my brain. Not anything big, something just big enough to be irritating as fuck. "More hints."

"I made you talk to me, because you were crying. I wanted to know what was wrong."

That hit me. She had cared how I felt. "More hints!" Whatever was trying to take shape in my brain was growing brighter. She was right, it was uncomfortable. I felt tears pricking the back of my eyes, and I didn't know why. My brain was working fast, threads of memory trying to stitch together, triggered by a few simple clues.

"I love the stars, I love the moon. You cry when you see flowers floating in a pond, and though you can't remember why, it's because of me."

I don't wanna play anymore. There's a block of solid emotions in my chest. I want to cry like a small child, and I don't know why. I'm sad and angry and confused. But I'm so curious. If I keep pushing, I'll find the answer! "More hints," I shudder.

"You kept me warm when I was cold, Nny. We held each other until my eyes glassed over."

I'm shuddering with an emotion so strong it's like physical pain. I could feel it, I was on the brink of memory. As much as it hurt, it would be worth it if I could just REMEMBER. There was pain, yes, but there would be JOY as well if I could just remember! "One more," I gasped, the feeling taking a physical toll. "ONE MORE!"

She floated close and wrapped her arms around me, her chin resting on the top of my head. "I was the one that didn't hate you, Nny. You weren't evil. Only broken." That was the push needed, and I fell into my mind.

My thoughts snapped me back in time and I was 19, being told I was only broken, not evil, by a girl who had every right to hate me for taking her, and I was crying. Snap forward, and there I am again, still 19, sleeping in the arms of the girl. Snap forward again and she was bleeding out into a bucket, willingly sacrificing herself so that I could paint the wall. Snap: she was shivering, tired and dying, and I was sobbing. Snap: she was answering my questions; I was frantically trying to preserve her in my memory. Snap: She promised to wait for me. Snap: I was keeping her warm as she bled out. Snap: she was dead, and I was curled around her corpse like Squee curls around that damned bear. Snap: I was in my room, writing in my Die-ary, taking the first steps to becoming the sleepless, people-hating monster I died as. Snap: I was locked in a room, painting for the first time in months. Somewhere, a stereo is playing 'Uncle Johnny' on repeat. Snap: the picture is finished. It's a wolf with green eyes that stares into the moon, a silver 19 hidden in the patterns of its gray fur, 'Hey what you say Johnny' written on the moon itself. Snap: I've left the room with the painting. I can't find it again. Snap: I can't find the room with her body I it. I won't look for it. It will be her tomb. Snap: I'm twenty and I found the painting again. I didn't remember it, why it was painted or when. But it filled me with sadness and longing and a fervent wish to be someone else. Snap: I'm twenty-two and I've found her tomb. I didn't know it was her, my brain was full of holes and I couldn't remember. Snap: scenes from every day for weeks after finding her tomb flash by. I sat outside that room for hours at a time every day. I never opened the door, because that would ruin the feeling, that strong feeling that just beyond that barrier of wood was someone who didn't hate me, someone who cared, who wanted to listen and to help me save myself. Snap: I'm going out and there is a lilly on my doorstep. I want to scream and cry at the sight of it. I run across the lawn and out into the street, and wonder of wonders I'm hit by a car. SNAP: I'm back in the present, I'm crying and I'm screaming her name into the black void of space.

"LILLY! LILLY! LILLY!" my voice is a siren that goes on and on. I feel her arms constrict around me, and I don't fight it, when normally human contact would have repulsed me. She whispers in my ear.

"Shhhhh, shhhhhh Nny, it's ok, it's going to be alright…" Her breath shifts my hair, just like last time we met. I force myself to stop screaming, but I'm still shaking, choking on my sobs and whispering what sounds like apologies and cries for forgiveness. My mind is racing, I'm devastated but at the same time I'm so happy, I missed her so much, even though I knew being without her comfort was what I deserved. I feel her left hand rub my back, up and down, like I was a child who'd had a horrible nightmare. Her other hand was in my hair, smoothing it. It matched our last meeting so well, I could almost believe it WAS just a nightmare, I'd never killed her. After a few minutes (or it could have been hours, or days, or years, or only seconds, time is funny when you're dead), I was calmed.

"Lilly?" I query softly, clinging to her.

''Yeah?" This snippet of conversation is a match to our last one. There is a momentary surge of panic as I'm afraid the blackness of space will fall away and we'll be in that room, her legs in chains and a wall needing to be fed. But it doesn't, and I relax.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"A portion of outer space between heaven and hell, I think."

"Why aren't you in heaven?"

"Because Heaven isn't where I need to be."

"Why not? You are good. You're supposed to go to Heaven."

"Nny, look around. Do you see the stars?"

"Yes."

"Where are they?"

"Below us..."_ Oh._

"I promised to meet you over the stars."

"Yeah, you did."

"Heaven isn't really my thing, anyway. I'd rather go to Hell and be entertained. Maybe keep a certain broken boy company. I think he's been alone more than long enough."

"I have. I missed you, Lilly."

"I missed you too Nny. You ready to go?"

"No." I clung to her, my head rested on her chest like a child, as she held me. "No…let's just float here a little longer, if that's ok with you."

"It's fine for me." Her lips curled into a smile. "I love the stars."

I realized suddenly that I wasn't crying or angry or mad or confused anymore. I was happy.


End file.
